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My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,

"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch."


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John and Jenifer were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress,
taking another order at a table a few paces away, noticed that John was ever
so slowly sliding down his chair under the table while Jenifer acted
unconcerned. Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair
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After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and
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A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it, as he's liable to break something. The boy continues. "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off You're going to break something." He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center. Johnny starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet. Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she is finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She is not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything. When he arrives, she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of to
uches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and Shit is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart!"


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A man walked into a tavern and sat next to a very attractive, smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool. "Hi there, Good Looking. How's it going?" he asked.
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